Emotional Effects Of Being Disciplined

I feel vulnerable and helpless when my husband spanks me but it is not being spanked that causes these feelings.
No, the feelings of being vulnerable and helpless are evoked at the latest when he reprimands and lectures me so it becomes embarrassingly clear that by misbehaving I foolishly ventured out of my safety zone and excluded myself from the safety, order and harmony within my limits.
Limits naturally are limiting and at times even the most reasonable limits seem annoyingly limiting. Sometimes it is alluring to transgress and escape the trammels of rules and manners and good behaviour norms and occasionally the temptation to deviate just a little and just in this situation becomes overwhelming. It is incredible how easy it can be to come up with silly and dubious excuses as well as convincing myself that in this case, it is risk-free and not really a  problem to overstep my limits and deviate from the rules and good manners that usually regulate my behaviour.

Of course and though it does not seem so at the time, yielding to the temptation and believing in my own beforehand hazy excuses and unrealistic evaluation of risk is foolish and naive. Not only the risk of being caught misbehaving is usually much bigger than overly optimistically anticipated but worse is that transgressing behaviour and decorum often have unforeseen and bigger problems than imagined and then the feeling of being vulnerable and helpless really becomes acute long before I am reprimanded and lectured about my irresponsible, immature and naughty behaviour.

It is a terribly embarrassing situation to be in and also a situation characterised by the frightened thoughts it causes when the unforeseen consequences of my misbehaviour make it dawn on me that my deviation from acceptable behaviour was not as risk-free and innocent as I foolishly had persuaded myself to believe.
Then it hits me like a hammer how silly and childish it is to impulsively put myself in a position of vulnerability, inadequacy and embarrassment by deliberately misbehaving and ignoring guidelines and rules in a foolish attempt to momentarily gain an unauthorised freedom and dubious pleasure.   It hits me like a hammer because it with sudden shocking clarity makes me see how stupidly I abandoned the safety and good order and all the other benefits of being a good, well-behaved and compliant wife.
No matter if my deliberate misbehaviour is caused by a random impulse or if it is premeditated and calculated it still is intolerably naughty and inappropriate and what makes it also extremely foolish and childishly silly is that I know that there can never a valid excuse for it and the only explanations I have to offer is an inherent disposition to mischief and impulsiveness, also innate tendency to be carried away by the spirit of the moment and of course, the typical female traits such as emotional instability  and constantly being a little disappointed with myself and my performance and feeling inadequate and guilty because of my imperfection.
I acknowledge that both the personal and the typically female treats make it natural and perhaps unavoidable that I occasionally cannot resist temptations to abandon my safety zone and deliberately transgress the boundaries, rules, manners and behaviour norms that I also in my own best interest am supposed to observe but it seems so unfair that it is like that.

It seems unfair because I fully understand and accept that I need to have rules and boundaries and to have to comply with my husband’s expectations. It is only right and natural and I really want to be good and a both beneficial and enjoyable wife so why is it also natural and unavoidable that I at times simply cannot resist a tempting opportunity to misbehave?

Both emotionally and intellectually I appreciate my husband’s headship and his quite strict and authoritarian leadership style very much and I know that I am most happy and content when I  am dutiful and compliant so my husband is pleased with me and approving of my behaviour and attitude. We all have sorrows and disappointments in our lives and life would not even be really complete and fulfilling without also some adversity and disappointments but basically, I am happy, have a fulfilling life and feel that I, without having deserved it, have been very privileged.

Also to have a husband whom I truly love and who loves me and who also is a good, devoted, caring and responsible Head of Household, a solid and reliable authority who commands respect and obedience and whenever needed is a firm disciplinarian I experience as a privilege.
My husband and I are devoted to each other, share many interests and share basic values and though we as any other couple from time to time have disagreements and conflicts has our marriage always been happy.  We respect each other’s roles in the marriage and are happy with our individual roles that seem natural to us. Because we have no power struggle so our disagreements and problems usually not allowed to escalate into conflicts but when we have conflicts they are swiftly solved.
I can trust my husband to perform his duties as Head of Household carefully, responsibly, consistently and also firmly, He rules with a steady hand and though he is strict he is certainly not a despot or bully but a husband who has given me safety and order and even freedom from many problems and responsibilities that would have burdened and annoyed me if we subscribed to the concept of equality.

It suits me very well and is experienced as a big privilege that my husband is the unquestioned Head of Household, governs with authority, runs things smoothly and steadily, handles our finances, taxes, insurance, investments and pension plans etcetera well without me needing to have an opinion in these matters, looks after me and enforces order and discipline with the necessary firmness also when I deserve to be punished.

So I am very satisfied with my marriage, with my enjoyable and fulfilling life and with being kept in line and disciplined as I agree is his husbandly duty to do.
As all women, I can be annoyed and petulant when I cannot have things my way but I really have no reason for serious discontent or dissatisfaction.
So why is it that I sometimes and quite deliberately misbehave and defy the limits, rules and decorum that I actually am happy with?

I wonder if it is not simply a fundamental aspect of the female nature to be misbehaving because we need to regularly be reassured of the man’s headship and authority.
When I misbehave and my husband spanks my bottom black and blue I cry my eyes out and endure horrible pain but not only does a sound and thorough spanking at least for a while improve my behaviour and attitude but it also always strengthens the bonding between us and increases my respect and devotion for him. It is strangely satisfying to be aware, that the reason why my bottom for days after the punishment is sore and throbbing, is that my husband gave me the spanking I deserved. A proper spanking causes dreadful pain and lots of discomforts but it is a big positive influence on my behaviour and it confirms that my husband is in authority.
It is undeniable that one of the things that make our marriage so beneficient and satisfying for both my husband and me is that he without reluctance or hesitation spanks me thoroughly whenever I misbehave and deserve punishment. That he does it is part of what makes him a wonderful husband and the spankings certainly make me a better woman and wife.

I do not think that I in this am very different from women in general so I dare to say that a lot of wives would be happy and the number of divorces would decrease drastically if more husbands took on them the heavy burden of responsibilities that come with headship and being authorities and disciplinarians.

 

This post was submitted By Karin