Love, Trust, Respect and Obey
Love, Trust, Respect and Obey – that is the motto you find at the bottom of this site and as a woman who for over 40 years has been happy in a marriage that integrates Domestic Discipline I find that the four words very well cover what Domestic Discipline is about – at least from the wife’s viewpoint.
Love is, of course, the basic pre-condition for a happy, harmonious and lasting marriage. And the love has to be maintained or it will not last. It has to be nourished, nursed and protected. This is not just a matter of not being selfish and petulant or obstinate and stubborn but we all change as we grow older and as our circumstances and our life conditions change. A good wife must always have the marriage and her husband as her first priority.
To be beneficial and enjoyable to her husband should always be on a wife’s mind and it should always come before her personal interests and her job and her friends. She must focus not on her husband’s small imperfections and shortcomings but on the characteristics and habits she loves and then she must always give him the attention he needs, make him feel appreciated (it is not very difficult and you can just do as the dog: Look admiring up at him and waggle you tail) and give him your trust.
If a wife does not trust a wife does not trust her husband she cannot defer to him and his authority as the respectful and compliant companion she should be. She must be able to trust that he will meet the obligations and duties that come with the position as husband and Head of Household. The husband must actively practise his headship and also assert himself so that the wife dares to rely on him as the pillar of authority in her life. To assert himself as the Head of Household he will need to put the wife in her place and show her who wears the trousers and although she at the time will experience this as unpleasant and painful will it assure her that she can trust that he is in control so that it is safe for her to compliantly acknowledge his authority.
When the wife knows that she can trust that the husband is actually in charge and takes his duties as Head of Household seriously it will be much easier and natural for her to give him the respect and obedience a woman owes her husband. But the husband has to when needed enforce the wife’s respect and obedience.
A wife needs the awareness that the husband is firmly holding the reins on her and is in control. He can tighten or slacken the reins as it at the time is suitable but she must never doubt that he holds them and is in control no matter what happens.
If he relinquishes the reins or slacken them too often or too much it will cause the wife to feel insecure and she will react with bewilderment and rebelliousness. Those who have seen a young and inexperienced sheepdog at work will know how the dog’s poorly executed moves make the sheep, that readily submit to an experienced and competent sheepdog, bewildered, frightened and rebellious.
The sheep need to experience that the dog knows what it is doing and is in control.
In the same way, does a wife need the awareness of her husband firmly holding the reins on her in his hand or she will forget the respect she owes him.
A wife wants to respect her husband but she can only continue to do it if he holds the reins steadily and firmly so that there is no doubt who is in charge.
This means that the husband must consistently correct and discipline his wife whenever she violates the rules or decorum he has set or her behaviour or attitude displeases him. Unless the wife experiences consistency and steadiness in expectations and demands she will be confused and uncertain and her respect and compliance diminish. The respect comes much easier and is also easier maintained if the husband invariably is a firm authoritarian so that the wife knows the rules and boundaries and on a regular basis is reminded of them.
No matter how much the wife loves, trusts and respects her husband and consequently wants to be good and obedient there will inevitably be times when she fails to obey her husband and the set rules. It happens for many different reasons such as forgetfulness, a temperamental or lazy disposition, carelessness, simple female foolishness and PMS but even a good wife will also at times deliberately disobey because she meets temptations she cannot resist.
Obedience ensures that the good order and the harmony are not disturbed so disobedience is of course totally unacceptable and cannot be tolerated. If the wife respects and obeys her husband and complies with the rules and standards he sets she can expect him to govern steadily and well as it is in the best interest of the whole household. Disobedience challenges the husband’s authority and if not all occurrences of disobedience are stopped instantly and resolutely the horrible consequence will be laissez-faire with all the insecurity, disarray, uncertainty, disharmony and anarchy.
It is the wife’s duty to respect and obey the husband and it is the husband’s duty react swiftly and firmly whenever the pre-conditional is disrespectful or disobedient.
Then it more than ever is time for the husband to assert himself as the Head of Household and unless he without hesitation reacts by disciplining the wife severely and reminding her of her place he will lose her respect and trust in him. Being lenient with a disrespectful and disobedient wife can only cause problems to increase and it will, in fact, mean to let down the wife who needs to experience that her husband is in charge.
Even the best wife who knows her place and does her very best to be obedient and well-behaved will at times get out of line and then it is the good and responsible husband’s duty to restore the good and safe order and harmony that the wife with her naughtiness has disturbed.
When the wife goes astray and violates her boundaries she naturally needs to be brought back to the safety and good order within her boundaries and just as naturally, it is the husband’s duty to bring her back.
When the wife is disobedient, disrespectful or in other ways naughty she deserves and needs to be disciplined and the husband should bare her bottom and spank it literally black and blue.
Naturally, the severity of the punishment should depend on the seriousness of the offence but there is no reason why the husband should use the rod of correction sparingly; all wives sometimes need and deserve to get their bare bottoms soundly spanked. When the husband spanks the misbehaving wife empathically it is an act of love and it tells the wife that he cares for her.
She does of course, not like it when he vigorously spanks her bare bottom but she is not either supposed to like it but to be in great pain and distress and when it is over and she has had a little time to compose and collect herself she – perhaps reluctantly – will realise that the spanking was not just a deserved punishment but also what she needed both as a necessary reminder of her place and as reassurance being safe under her husband’s authority and in his loving care.
Although it today is not as commonly acknowledged as it used to be it is a fact that women need to be taken in hand and enjoy the benefits of being under men’s caring and protective authority and need to be spanked when misbehaving.
A good and responsible husband must be aware that keeping her in line and spanking her bare bottom for misbehaviour is the best and most effective method to instil suitable trust, respect and obedience in his loving wife.
This great post was submitted by Karin