Answers

I am curious to know your thoughts on disciplining my bride/wife on the wedding night.

Q: I have followed your posts for some time now and find your thoughts illuminating.
I am curious to know your thoughts on disciplining my bride/wife on the wedding night. My prospective father in law in a very traditional man and when I spoke to him to seek his approval/blessing, he said the responsibility of ensuring that the marriage/family endures is on the husband. It’s for the husband to take charge from day 1 and enforce structure and discipline and make sure the wife is obedient. According to him, “If your wife becomes disobedient, you will only have yourself to blame for that.” Do you believe a proper caning on the wedding night itself is an effective way to set the tone in the marriage?

A: Firstly, have you and your bride discussed living a domestic discipline lifestyle?
Has your bride agreed to live a domestic discipline lifestyle?
If your bride has not consented to this, you should not discipline her. A domestic discipline lifestyle only works if both partners agree to live this way.
I agree with what your father-in-law says.
Regarding your question, should you cane her on your wedding night?
You should only discipline when it has been earned and not just discipline just because you can.
Discipline is not a sexual pleasure act. Being disciplined is for learning and correction.

Suppose you and your bride intend on sexually using spanking in the bedroom. In that case, that is fine as long as you differentiate between pleasure and discipline. They are not and never will be the same.

Having a regular maintenance spanking is also ok some couples find maintenance spanking very beneficial, but using a cane seems harsh, in my opinion, for maintenance.

Should I punish my wife publicly?

Today I received an email asking if it was ok to punish your wife in public or privately for being disrespectful and flirting.

Unless you are part of a group of like-minded couples who practice domestic discipline and support and share their lifestyle, you should not publicly punish your wife.
Your marriage is private, and you should keep it confidential.

I am conflicted about domestic discipline as a Christian

Question:

My wife wants us to practice domestic discipline.
She wants me to discipline her should the need arise.
I am conflicted about domestic discipline as a Christian.
I believe the husband should be in charge of his wife, but society now says this is wrong and we are equal, and the husband should have no authority over his wife.
Can you help me?

Answer

The Bible says in
Ephesians 5:23-24 (KJV)
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

The passage above tells us the husband is the head of the house.

Regarding society, I think this verse will help you settle your conflict.

Romans 12:2
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

How do you ensure that the discipline feels like a punishment and not just play ?

There should be a significant difference between how to discipline gets delivered in play and real.

For example, if you use hand spanking in your play, do not use it as a punishment. Find another way to be spanked with a paddle, for instance.
Your HoH should also explain to you before the punishment happens why you are being punished.

You can also use several types of punishment such as loss of privileges, extra cleaning, lines essays, etc.
Punishments don’t have to be physical, and everyone is different and different things work for different people.

I married two days ago, I really don’t know what to expect!

Question:

I married two days ago.
My mother explained me that from now on my husband will take care of me and my discipline.

I was disciplined by my mother, by my (female) babysitters, and by nuns in our Church.
I have never been disciplined by a male person.
I really don’t know what to expect!

Answer:

You need to talk to your husband and discuss what he expects from his wife, what the rules will be rules, and the consequences if you break them.
You need a list of rules written down so you can refer to them as you learn them.
Things to discuss are:
when would he like to eat,
what types of meals does he like,
how does he want his house kept
how does he want you to dress
household budget

When it comes to discipline, you should discuss the punishments that will get used if you break a rule.
The conversation is two-sided; in the end, you and your husband should be happy with the agreement.
Domestic discipline is a lifestyle that both partners choose to live.
You have the right to refuse to live this lifestyle and not give your consent for him to punish you.

Does a domestic discipline lifestyle have to include physical punishment?

No, living a domestic discipline lifestyle does not have to include physical punishment.
It is for each couple to decide what will work best for them. Many couples do not have physical punishment but choose to have things like lines, loss of privileges such as mobile phones, etc., as punishments.

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