Guest Posts

The Joy and Responsibility of Domestic Discipline

While I was still allowed to hang out with my mom DD friends, they asked me if I got to punish Sean when he was wrong

No. Because, like most people in charge, he punishes himself for both of us. While this lifestyle requires ongoing devotion and commitment on both sides, Lion’s share of the responsibility goes to the husband. Mine agonizes over what punishment will be most effective without causing me to resent him.

But I have never once resented him before, during or after any punishment. I’ve been embarrassed when he’s chosen to do so in front of others. But, again, it’s effective.

And mostly I feel ashamed and sorry my husband had to punish me like when he saw me in pants though I’m not allowed. I felt so guilty, I’d have taken them off Main street.

I know he derives no pleasure from punishing me, except for thinking I look cute in a diaper. I know he puts a great amount of thought in my punishments as to why and what will work. I asked him how he felt when he was punishing me. He said like he was doing his job.

And he has a gift for choosing the right one.

If I didn’t have a bedtime, I would stay up late and be cranky the next day. But I know if I do, I’ll be going to bed early for a week. If I didn’t get put on restriction from my phone, I would go over my minutes every month. Pants make it harder to spank me. And my non-DD friends just upset me.

The best thing to me is, after a spanking, corner time, or being forced to redo my housework under his supervision is I am cleansed of my guilt and him of his anger. We have no resentments, old issues or grudges.

I think that’s why we are the happiest couples I know with the best sex life who’ve been married as long as we have.

Of course, no couple is perfect. And there was one thing he did I disliked intensely. He had to go out of town and asked the wife of our DD counsellor to basically babysit me. She made sure I did my chores, monitored my phone time and sent me to bed early. She wasn’t allowed to punish me in any way that involved contact. But I was instructed to obey her as though she were him.

I told him how I felt when he got home.

He asked me how many spankings, how much corner and diaper time I would have coming to me when he got home without supervision.

And I knew, like every other policy and punishment, he put thought and prayer into it. He does his job and he does it wet. I derive no pleasure from the punishments. But I do take pride, especially the humbling ones in front of others, in being obedient and submissive my husband however far I have to do it.

I take even more pride in hearing him say that I am the best wife in the world who among other reasons, does what she’s told. It takes discipline, dedication and caring commitment.

Oh, but it is so worth it

A Guest Post From A HOH

My name is Sean. My wife, Caroline, posts on this site frequently. And I would like to speak by, for, and about DD husbands.

It was my wife who introduced spanking into our relationship. After an argument, she pulled her pants down and laid across my lap. She said later after an argument she felt worse. After a spanking, she felt better. About a year later, she said just spanking didn’t give her the redemption she needed. I started sending her to the corner to think about what she did. She exposed her red bottom. I asked her why. She said she needed to be shamed and humbled to feel redemption.

As the husband, I knew it was my responsibility to decide her punishments. That’s when I started supervising the redoing of sloppy housework with her red bottom in the air. Not only was it effective, but she was also happier after the initial remorse.

It didn’t take an Einstein to see my wife needed punishment that involved what a lot of people would call humiliation.

Yes, I punish her with diapers. I put her in them to keep her from getting up in the middle of the night and waking me up. She was so embarrassed I knew they would be an effective punishment. But I only use them for serious infractions like blatant disobedience when she wore pants after I told her more pants and she wore them anyway. And once she was talking to man too long at a party at our to make me jealous.

I took her to the bedroom, spanked her and put her diaper and rubber pants. Then I led her back to the party, said it was past her bedtime and had her say goodnight. I worried it was too severe but she didn’t think so. She said she had embarrassed me and acted like a child so I embarrassed her and treated her like a child and embarrassed her.

I forbade pants because skirts are more convenient for punishment among other things. I stopped letting her associate with non-DD women because they told her she was abused and it upset her. She has a bedtime or she will stay up too late and be cranky. The playpen is for timeouts and more comfortable than tiny chairs our friends use.

I do not require her to call me Master and Sir. I love it and the same goes for asking permission to leave the room. Her eagerness to show her submission and devotion moves and humbles me.

I do not yell at or insult my wife. I adore her. Even after the exercise was over, I have continued to bathe and dress her because we both enjoy and she deserves to be pampered

I hope all DD husband’s feel like this. They should.

Submission With Love

Our DD counsellors gave us an exercise. To remind both partners that the woman’s body is not her own, our husbands were to bathe and dress us. No matter how tired or busy he was. And we had to wear whatever they chose.

That drew some groans!

Sean has been laying out my clothes for years. He knows what I wear has a big impact on how I behave. With all the cleaning to be done before the holidays, I’ve been in my little maid’s outfit for a week.

And it did make me a better housekeeper.

But in all the activity, I forgot to call his sister with whom I don’t get along and invite her. He had just untied the bow that holds my outfit on when the phone rang leaving me standing there in my Lacey little girl panties he likes.

He got off the phone livid but he didn’t raise his voice. He never does.

“My sister is insulted and she had every reason to be. You have caused trouble in the family. I work 12 hours a day. I bathe you, I dress you. I make sure you go to bed at a decent hour. I put thought into every rule and punishment while always making sure you know you’re loved..”

I don’t know he said after that. The combination of what he said and the fact I was in my panties filled me with love and remorse. I fell to my knees and clung to his knee. Tears fell down my face as I told him how sorry I was and how much I loved him and that he was the best husband and master in the world.

And there were tears in his eyes too. He looked at me so lovingly and I put his fingers in my hair then he picked me up and carried me to bed.

I asked if I was going to get a spanking. He said the lecture was enough.

The next morning, he woke me up to bathe and dress me before he had to leave.

My outfit for the day was Lacey panties. But that isn’t the point. That was the most submissive, the most humbling thing I’ve ever done without being told.

And it made us appreciate or more appreciative of how much we love each other.

How could anyone live any other way?

The Joy and Responsibility of Domestic Discipline

While I was still allowed to hang out with my mom DD friends, they asked me if I got to punish Sean when he was wrong

But I have never once resented him before, during or after any punishment. I’ve been embarrassed when he’s chosen to do so in front of others. But, again, it’s effective.

And mostly I feel ashamed and sorry my husband had to punish me like when he saw me in pants though I’m not allowed. I felt so guilty, I’d have taken them off in the main street.

I know he derives no pleasure from punishing me, except for thinking I look cute in a diaper. I know he puts great amount of thought in my punishments as to why and what will work. I asked him how he felt when he was punishing me. He said like he was doing his job.

And he has a gift for choosing the right one.

If I didn’t have a bedtime, I would stay up late and be cranky the next day. But I know if I do, Ill be going to bed early for a week. If I didn’t get put on restriction from my phone, I would go over my minutes every month. Pants make it harder to spank me. And my non-DD friends just upset me.

I think that’s why we are the happiest couples I know with the best sex life who’ve been married as long as we have.

I told him how I felt when he got home.

He asked me how many spankings, how much corner and diaper time I would have come me when he got home without supervision.

I take even more pride in hearing him say that I am the best wife in the world who among other reasons, does what she’s told. It takes discipline, dedication and caring commitment.

Oh, but it is so worth it

Previous post from guest

Beyond Spanking

If you read my last story, you know my husband put me in diapers so I wouldn’t wake him getting up at night and punishment, then out and now back in.

That’s not what this is about.

Because pants proved inconvenient. He has never liked them, and I hadn’t worn them much. But he officially forbade them, and I boxed mine up to give to the thrift store.

A couple of days ago, I was at a friend’s house. We were going shopping. My skirt got caught on something, and there was a large, noticeable tear. All she had was, guess what?

And it’s shameful to say so now, but I didn’t see the harm in it. He was working. It wasn’t like he was going to spank or diaper me before I got home. Obviously, he saw us.

The look on his face..I could have handled anger or disapproval. He looked so hurt and betrayed. It occurred to me that while I had misbehaved, I’d never blatantly disobeyed my husband.

He didn’t come home until exactly at my bedtime. I was lying on the bed in position for him to put my diaper on. But I didn’t get to roll over and go to sleep. He told me to stand up.

He sat down, and while I stood there spent ten minutes telling me how disappointed he was, that if he hadn’t seen it he wouldn’t believe it. I started crying. My punishment was to wear a diaper indefinitely, including our next DD meeting and tell everyone why I was wearing it.

But I didn’t care about that. I disobeyed my husband. And if I was honest with myself, I didn’t know this woman very well. And I wasn’t ready to tell her my husband didn’t allow me to wear pants. So, now I am not allowed any more non-DD girlfriends unless he has met them and knows they understand what it is.

But there’s more.

He had a T-shirt printed that says, “I Disobeyed My Husband.”. I became hysterical. I literally got on my knees, begging him not to make me wear that. I promised I would never disobey again. He took pity on me and said I didn’t have to wear it. “But know that it’s here.” I opened my mouth. He said, “I don’t want to hear a word out of you buy ‘Yes, Sir.'”

At our DD meeting, our counsellor asked why I didn’t want to wear the T-shirt. I said I was ashamed of disobeying my husband. He asked me why I was ashamed of telling my friend I obeyed my husband. I just stood there still holding up my skirt not knowing what to say.

At first, I thought I didn’t want to explain our lifestyle. But how long does it take to say, “My husband doesn’t let me wear pants,”? I had no answer.

Our counsellor said he knew me to be a well behaved, submissive, loving wife. That my transgression was significant. The punishment fit the crime. But I needed to think about my actions.

I still don’t know why. I love my husband. I’m proud to belong to him and happy to submit to him. I couldn’t undo what I did. But I could make it up or.try to him.

The next day, he came home to me in the yard wearing the shirt he had made with my diaper and short skirt. I had all my pants on a table with a sign that said, “Husband Won’t Let Me Wear Pants! Free Jeans!”

I’m not out of the woods yet. But he appreciated it. And I have a new appreciation for what this means. It’s more than a lifestyle. It’s a sacred covenant like our wedding vows. I have never believed marriage was a marriage if a woman couldn’t say obey and mean it. To be able to do so is beautiful. I forgot that for a minute. It won’t happen again.

If you read my last story, you know my husband put me in diapers so I wouldn’t wake him getting up at night and punishment, then out and now back in.

That’s not what this is about.

Because of which pants proved inconvenient. He has never liked them and I hadn’t worn them much. But he officially forbade them and I boxed mine up to give to the thrift store.

A couple of days ago, I was at a friend’s house. We were going shopping. My skirt got caught on something and there was a large, noticeable tear. All she had was, guess what?

And it’s shameful to say so now, but I didn’t see the harm in it. He was working. It wasn’t like he was going to spank or diaper me before I got home. Obviously, he saw us.

The look on his face..I could have handled anger or disapproval. He looked so hurt and betrayed. It occurred to me that while I had misbehaved, I’d never blatantly disobeyed my husband.

He didn’t come home until exactly at my bedtime. I was lying on the bed in position for him to put my diaper on. But I didn’t get to roll over and go to sleep. He told me to stand up.

He sat down and while I stood there spent ten minutes telling me how disappointed he was, that if he hadn’t seen it he wouldn’t believe it. I started crying. My punishment was to wear a diaper indefinitely including our next DD meeting and tell everyone why I was wearing it.

But there’s more.

He had a T-shirt printed that says, “I Disobeyed My Husband.”. I became hysterical. I literally got on my knees begging him not to make me wear that. I promised I would never disobey again. He took pity on me and said I didn’t have to wear it. “But know that it’s here.” I opened mouth. He said, “I don’t want to hear a word out of you buy ‘Yes, Sir.'”

At first, I thought I didn’t want to explain our lifestyle. But how long does it take to say, “My husband doesn’t let me wear pants,”? I had no answer.

Our counsellor said he knew me to be a well behaved, submissive, loving wife. That my transgression was significant. The punishment fit the crime. But I needed to think about my actions.

I still don’t know why. I love my husband. I’m proud to belong to him and happy to submit to him. I couldn’t undo what I did. But I could make it up or.try to him.

It won’t happen again.

Read guests previous post

My husband and I have practised Domestic Discipline since long before it was given a name

My husband and I have practised DD since long before it was given a name. We believe I’m Biblical roles. He is naturally dominant and I submissive. Even in high school, I asked permission to go out with my friends.

But I’m starting to wonder if my husband and I are the only ones who employ means other than spanking. It started out that way. But we both like it when he spanks me. So it wasn’t much of a deterrent.

I want to say first that he treats me very well. He puts my happiness first. He knows his responsibility as HOH.

But, when the spanking stopped working, he started making me stand in the corner holding my skirt up or pants down to show my red bottom.

It was not to be cruel, just effective which it was.

We believe punishments should be effective, humbling and reinforce the traditional roles. They should also mirror the crime. I like to stay up late but I get cranky, so he tells me when to go to bed. If I disobey, I go to bed early for a week. After sloppy housework, I am spanked and ordered to redo it under his supervision with my pants around my ankles. I don’t leave the room without permission so he doesn’t have to look all over for me. And telling him doesn’t feel right even to me. But if I forget, I don’t leave that room without permission. These punishments mirror the crime and reinforce my role as submissive.

Also, apparently-with no prior knowledge-we were kinky as well. Though it had nothing to do with sex or age play. I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and woke him up and he bought me pull-ups and rubber pants to sleep in, then for long trips and punishment. I got my private bathroom time in the morning. He successfully got me dependent, confessing I just looked so darn cute. Again, not sexual, I just loved belonging to him so completely, I depended on him for even that.

Then, I heard his friends compliment him on how affectionate and obedient I was. He said I’d been like a kitten ever since the diapers. For punishment, he asked me if I needed a fresh diaper in front of others, just our closest friends and other DD couples and wear skirts that showed my diaper.

I wanted to continue being affectionate and obedient. I loved he thought I was cute. But I was getting dependent. We talked about it and comprised of a little girl dress, pigtails, and ruffled panties. It was still humbling, but my bladder was safe. I also had a tiny time out chair, very uncomfortable and a playpen for when he wanted effectively to send me to bed and keep his eyes on me.

We kept those.

A lot of this can only be practised if you don’t hide your lifestyle and we exposed ours by accident.

His brother came in the house without knocking. I was getting a spanking so hard I was kicking and screaming. His brother froze. My husband was very cool.

“Give me a minute. I’m disciplining my wife.

We decided it was our home. It was our life. And if people didn’t feel comfortable watching me get a spanking, time out, corner time, they could leave. If it made “strong” female friends uncomfortable to hear me call him Sir or ask permission to go out with my friends or tell them I was on restriction for coming home late, they knew where the door was too.

I haven’t misbehaved in a public place. He says he doesn’t know what he would do. It depended on the situation. But I don’t want to find out.

Again, my point is that there are more and more effective punishments than spanking. For the reasons I have given, O think they produce a more obedient wife and an adoring husband who appreciates she has given herself to him.

Or maybe it’s just us.

Emotional Effects Of Being Disciplined

I feel vulnerable and helpless when my husband spanks me but it is not being spanked that causes these feelings. These are the Emotional Effects Of Being Disciplined.
No, the feelings of being vulnerable and helpless are evoked at the latest when he reprimands and lectures me so it becomes embarrassingly clear that by misbehaving I foolishly ventured out of my safety zone and excluded myself from the safety, order and harmony within my limits.
Limits naturally are limiting and at times even the most reasonable limits seem annoyingly limiting. Sometimes it is alluring to transgress and escape the trammels of rules and manners and good behaviour norms and occasionally the temptation to deviate just a little and just in this situation becomes overwhelming. It is incredible how easy it can be to come up with silly and dubious excuses as well as convincing myself that in this case, it is risk-free and not really a problem to overstep my limits and deviate from the rules and good manners that usually regulate my behaviour.

Of course and though it does not seem so at the time, yielding to the temptation and believing in my own beforehand hazy excuses and unrealistic evaluation of risk is foolish and naive. Not only the risk of being caught misbehaving is usually much bigger than overly optimistically anticipated but worse is that transgressing behaviour and decorum often have unforeseen and bigger problems than imagined and then the feeling of being vulnerable and helpless really becomes acute long before I am reprimanded and lectured about my irresponsible, immature and naughty behaviour.

It is a terribly embarrassing situation to be in and also a situation characterised by the frightened thoughts it causes when the unforeseen consequences of my misbehaviour make it dawn on me that my deviation from acceptable behaviour was not as risk-free and innocent as I foolishly had persuaded myself to believe.
Then it hits me like a hammer how silly and childish it is to impulsively put myself in a position of vulnerability, inadequacy and embarrassment by deliberately misbehaving and ignoring guidelines and rules in a foolish attempt to momentarily gain an unauthorised freedom and dubious pleasure. It hits me like a hammer because it with sudden shocking clarity makes me see how stupidly I abandoned the safety and good order and all the other benefits of being a good, well-behaved and compliant wife.
No matter if my deliberate misbehaviour is caused by a random impulse or if it is premeditated and calculated it still is intolerably naughty and inappropriate and what makes it also extremely foolish and childishly silly is that I know that there can never a valid excuse for it and the only explanations I have to offer is an inherent disposition to mischief and impulsiveness, also innate tendency to be carried away by the spirit of the moment and of course, the typical female traits such as emotional instability and constantly being a little disappointed with myself and my performance and feeling inadequate and guilty because of my imperfection.
I acknowledge that both the personal and the typically female treats make it natural and perhaps unavoidable that I occasionally cannot resist temptations to abandon my safety zone and deliberately transgress the boundaries, rules, manners and behaviour norms that I also in my own best interest am supposed to observe but it seems so unfair that it is like that.

It seems unfair because I fully understand and accept that I need to have rules and boundaries and to have to comply with my husband’s expectations. It is only right and natural and I really want to be good and a both beneficial and enjoyable wife so why is it also natural and unavoidable that I at times simply cannot resist a tempting opportunity to misbehave?

Both emotionally and intellectually I appreciate my husband’s headship and his quite strict and authoritarian leadership style very much and I know that I am most happy and content when I am dutiful and compliant so my husband is pleased with me and approving of my behaviour and attitude. We all have sorrows and disappointments in our lives and life would not even be really complete and fulfilling without also some adversity and disappointments but basically, I am happy, have a fulfilling life and feel that I, without having deserved it, have been very privileged.

Also to have a husband whom I truly love and who loves me and who also is a good, devoted, caring and responsible Head of Household, a solid and reliable authority who commands respect and obedience and whenever needed is a firm disciplinarian I experience as a privilege.
My husband and I are devoted to each other, share many interests and share basic values and though we as any other couple from time to time have disagreements and conflicts has our marriage always been happy. We respect each other’s roles in the marriage and are happy with our individual roles that seem natural to us. Because we have no power struggle so our disagreements and problems usually not allowed to escalate into conflicts but when we have conflicts they are swiftly solved.
I can trust my husband to perform his duties as Head of Household carefully, responsibly, consistently and also firmly, He rules with a steady hand and though he is strict he is certainly not a despot or bully but a husband who has given me safety and order and even freedom from many problems and responsibilities that would have burdened and annoyed me if we subscribed to the concept of equality.

It suits me very well and is experienced as a big privilege that my husband is the unquestioned Head of Household, governs with authority, runs things smoothly and steadily, handles our finances, taxes, insurance, investments and pension plans etcetera well without me needing to have an opinion in these matters, looks after me and enforces order and discipline with the necessary firmness also when I deserve to be punished.

So I am very satisfied with my marriage, with my enjoyable and fulfilling life and with being kept in line and disciplined as I agree is his husbandly duty to do.
As all women, I can be annoyed and petulant when I cannot have things my way but I really have no reason for serious discontent or dissatisfaction.
So why is it that I sometimes and quite deliberately misbehave and defy the limits, rules and decorum that I actually am happy with?

I wonder if it is not simply a fundamental aspect of the female nature to be misbehaving because we need to regularly be reassured of the man’s headship and authority.
When I misbehave and my husband spanks my bottom black and blue I cry my eyes out and endure horrible pain but not only does a sound and thorough spanking at least for a while improve my behaviour and attitude but it also always strengthens the bonding between us and increases my respect and devotion for him. It is strangely satisfying to be aware, that the reason why my bottom for days after the punishment is sore and throbbing, is that my husband gave me the spanking I deserved. A proper spanking causes dreadful pain and lots of discomforts but it is a big positive influence on my behaviour and it confirms that my husband is in authority.
It is undeniable that one of the things that make our marriage so beneficient and satisfying for both my husband and me is that he without reluctance or hesitation spanks me thoroughly whenever I misbehave and deserve punishment. That he does it is part of what makes him a wonderful husband and the spankings certainly make me a better woman and wife.

I do not think that I in this am very different from women in general so I dare to say that a lot of wives would be happy and the number of divorces would decrease drastically if more husbands took on them the heavy burden of responsibilities that come with headship and being authorities and disciplinarians.

This post was submitted By Karin

Why I Should Obey Your Rules

This essay was written by one of my students that I have recently started mentoring.

Why I Should Obey Your Rules:

The obvious answer to why I should obey your rules is if for no other reason would be to avoid punishment. Avoiding punishment seems to be the only motivation I seem to respond to. I don’t like this about myself, but it is what it is. I had been truly getting out of control. It affects every area of my life. After trying it several times with Alex and then us giving that up and I trying to do it on my own, even he could see the frustrations I was having. But he didn’t know how to help me and it always seemed to cause more harm than good.

So for quite some time I have been trying to keep this all to myself from him and things just always seem to go from bad to worse. I got to where I never told him anything I was doing wrong, whether it was at work or at home, etc. because it seemed to upset him. I started thinking about Coach and how, eventually, I got better. I actually started feeling pretty good about myself then because I knew having a mentor meant that I had a safety net.

Having that safety net (so to speak) means everything to me apparently. It tells me that I cannot just go ahead and do whatever I feel like doing, no matter what it does to those around me, or even for my own health issues. Not having that safety net makes me feel totally out of control and it shows. I end up embarrassing myself and my husband.

It would not seem to matter to me that I embarrassed him because I would reason to myself that that is what he gets for not stepping in and helping when he knows how I feel about this and how I need it in my life. I do not necessarily want it but need it. I guess I do want it because of how better I feel about myself when I am doing good instead of bad.

So out of desperation and frustration that I could not handle anymore I decided to see if there was anyone out there that could help me, but was would have to be limited help because of my husband’s trust issues. I found you. Actually, I feel that God led me to you. I have no idea how I found your site or even why I clicked around to where I found your message about needing mentoring in your life even if you’re single or in a marriage where the other partner is not interested in being involved with domestic discipline. I could not believe it. I had been looking for a few days and had not seen anything like that.

After the first couple of emails to you asking you questions and telling you my circumstances I realized there was hope. I worried about how it could be done online only knowing the punishments would not totally scare me, but would probably be a lot of very annoying things to do. I also worried that I would even follow through with them since there would be no way of you actually knowing that I would follow through with them.

I was afraid I would not follow through with the punishments or obey you eventually because that is how I tend to do with most things in my life. I never see anything through. But it was the only hope I had had so I vowed to myself I would be true. But those negative thoughts still lurked and I tried to keep them pushed away. Then when Alex became involved, much to my amazement he agreed, although reluctant and I could tell he didn’t like it, but I told him I was going to do it anyway because I was to the point I had no choice. I still feel he only agreed to become “involved” so he could have access to our discussions and make sure there was no actual contact.

After you started with very minor and should be easy daily tasks getting me started I took to them right away. After the first couple of days I could look around and see some results already. Then Alex started noticing. Much to MY surprise and amazement, he suddenly wanted to be more involved. I think he secretly wanted to be able to “handle” me but is afraid and does not understand how all of this works. I was never able to really tell him what he was supposed to do, and what little I did ask him to do it quickly was put away and not brought up anymore. But since he started seeing a little difference in me he wanted to know if you could make a difference with his own issues that he has with me. I was floored. So you received the email he had me type while he sat here telling me what to say. (He does not type and he does not email).

I was surprised and a little hurt by what he wants you to help me with. Hurt because then I knew he had these feelings inside but did not figure there would be anything that could be done about those things. Whenever we have tried domestic discipline for those few times before, I realized he was afraid of making me mad at him. I think he thought I might leave him if he stood on his own ground and I did not get my way. But seeing that I was being held accountable now and was actually following through helped him to see this could actually work.

Then just as everything was looking up one of my not so small issues came back. My self-control towards others (James especially) that makes me lose my composure and behave very badly. I started worrying. Out of your kindness and wanting to help me you spent all day Saturday mentoring me on messenger. At the same time that was going on I was worrying Alex with it. I think I did more damage to him by going on and on about it. I could not seem to stop. He told me to and so did you. I finally stopped bringing it up. Everything seemed better to Alex then and his daughter came over that evening to visit. Alex cooked outside and I made the side vegetables.

After we ate, we sat down to visit. She started telling us about her new job. That led to me talking about mine. Then the next thing I knew I was right back on the subject of James. I was going on and on again about it and noticed Alex was staring at the TV but had a bad expression. I realized yet again I had disappointed him. That night after she left and we got ready for bed and even after we had gone to bed he was down. He would not speak much and I knew what was wrong.

Had I really listened to you and him it would not have been like that. You give me rules to go by for my own good. The only reason you do is because you have experience with all of this and know what is best for me. That is really the ultimate reason I should obey you. You are not giving me rules or tasks for entertainment. You give my issues thought and set out plans accordingly. I should always obey because you are only trying to help me and hopefully our marriage as well.

Love, Trust, Respect and Obey

Love, Trust, Respect and Obey – that is the motto you find at the bottom of this site and as a woman who for over 40 years has been happy in a marriage that integrates Domestic Discipline I find that the four words very well cover what Domestic Discipline is about – at least from the wife’s viewpoint.

Love is, of course, the basic pre-condition for a happy, harmonious and lasting marriage. And the love has to be maintained or it will not last. It has to be nourished, nursed and protected. This is not just a matter of not being selfish and petulant or obstinate and stubborn but we all change as we grow older and as our circumstances and our life conditions change. A good wife must always have the marriage and her husband as her first priority.

To be beneficial and enjoyable to her husband should always be on a wife’s mind and it should always come before her personal interests and her job and her friends. She must focus not on her husband’s small imperfections and shortcomings but on the characteristics and habits she loves and then she must always give him the attention he needs, make him feel appreciated (it is not very difficult and you can just do as the dog: Look admiring up at him and waggle you tail) and give him your trust.

If a wife does not trust a wife does not trust her husband she cannot defer to him and his authority as the respectful and compliant companion she should be. She must be able to trust that he will meet the obligations and duties that come with the position as husband and Head of Household. The husband must actively practise his headship and also assert himself so that the wife dares to rely on him as the pillar of authority in her life. To assert himself as the Head of Household he will need to put the wife in her place and show her who wears the trousers and although she at the time will experience this as unpleasant and painful will it assure her that she can trust that he is in control so that it is safe for her to compliantly acknowledge his authority.

When the wife knows that she can trust that the husband is actually in charge and takes his duties as Head of Household seriously it will be much easier and natural for her to give him the respect and obedience a woman owes her husband. But the husband has to when needed enforce the wife’s respect and obedience.

A wife needs the awareness that the husband is firmly holding the reins on her and is in control. He can tighten or slacken the reins as it at the time is suitable but she must never doubt that he holds them and is in control no matter what happens.

If he relinquishes the reins or slacken them too often or too much it will cause the wife to feel insecure and she will react with bewilderment and rebelliousness. Those who have seen a young and inexperienced sheepdog at work will know how the dog’s poorly executed moves make the sheep, that readily submit to an experienced and competent sheepdog, bewildered, frightened and rebellious.

The sheep need to experience that the dog knows what it is doing and is in control.
In the same way, does a wife need the awareness of her husband firmly holding the reins on her in his hand or she will forget the respect she owes him.
A wife wants to respect her husband but she can only continue to do it if he holds the reins steadily and firmly so that there is no doubt who is in charge.

This means that the husband must consistently correct and discipline his wife whenever she violates the rules or decorum he has set or her behaviour or attitude displeases him. Unless the wife experiences consistency and steadiness in expectations and demands she will be confused and uncertain and her respect and compliance diminish. The respect comes much easier and is also easier maintained if the husband invariably is a firm authoritarian so that the wife knows the rules and boundaries and on a regular basis is reminded of them.

No matter how much the wife loves, trusts and respects her husband and consequently wants to be good and obedient there will inevitably be times when she fails to obey her husband and the set rules. It happens for many different reasons such as forgetfulness, a temperamental or lazy disposition, carelessness, simple female foolishness and PMS but even a good wife will also at times deliberately disobey because she meets temptations she cannot resist.

Obedience ensures that the good order and the harmony are not disturbed so disobedience is of course totally unacceptable and cannot be tolerated. If the wife respects and obeys her husband and complies with the rules and standards he sets she can expect him to govern steadily and well as it is in the best interest of the whole household. Disobedience challenges the husband’s authority and if not all occurrences of disobedience are stopped instantly and resolutely the horrible consequence will be laissez-faire with all the insecurity, disarray, uncertainty, disharmony and anarchy.

It is the wife’s duty to respect and obey the husband and it is the husband’s duty react swiftly and firmly whenever the pre-conditional is disrespectful or disobedient.

Then it more than ever is time for the husband to assert himself as the Head of Household and unless he without hesitation reacts by disciplining the wife severely and reminding her of her place he will lose her respect and trust in him. Being lenient with a disrespectful and disobedient wife can only cause problems to increase and it will, in fact, mean to let down the wife who needs to experience that her husband is in charge.
Even the best wife who knows her place and does her very best to be obedient and well-behaved will at times get out of line and then it is the good and responsible husband’s duty to restore the good and safe order and harmony that the wife with her naughtiness has disturbed.
When the wife goes astray and violates her boundaries she naturally needs to be brought back to the safety and good order within her boundaries and just as naturally, it is the husband’s duty to bring her back.

When the wife is disobedient, disrespectful or in other ways naughty she deserves and needs to be disciplined and the husband should bare her bottom and spank it literally black and blue.
Naturally, the severity of the punishment should depend on the seriousness of the offence but there is no reason why the husband should use the rod of correction sparingly; all wives sometimes need and deserve to get their bare bottoms soundly spanked. When the husband spanks the misbehaving wife empathically it is an act of love and it tells the wife that he cares for her.

She does of course, not like it when he vigorously spanks her bare bottom but she is not either supposed to like it but to be in great pain and distress and when it is over and she has had a little time to compose and collect herself she – perhaps reluctantly – will realise that the spanking was not just a deserved punishment but also what she needed both as a necessary reminder of her place and as reassurance being safe under her husband’s authority and in his loving care.

Although it today is not as commonly acknowledged as it used to be it is a fact that women need to be taken in hand and enjoy the benefits of being under men’s caring and protective authority and need to be spanked when misbehaving.

A good and responsible husband must be aware that keeping her in line and spanking her bare bottom for misbehaviour is the best and most effective method to instil suitable trust, respect and obedience in his loving wife.

This great post was submitted by Karin

Emotional effects of a spanking

For the last three days, we have gotten lots of rain. It has kept me from getting on with my gardening projects, and every day the dog and I came home wet and dirty from the riding club. I guess that is what made me moody and sullen so I forgot my manners and behavior. My husband expects me not to forget the respect I owe him.

It began in the bakery where I took out my bad mood on the baker’s slow and incompetent maid. Outside the bakery, my husband rebuked me and reminded me sternly about how I am supposed to behave. He had good reason to do this because I had been naughty but I was annoyed and grumpy so instead of apologizing and adjusting my attitude, I gave him an impertinent answer. The moment I had done it I knew that I was in deep trouble. I wished I had kept my mouth shut. Although I know him well enough to know that I did not need to fear him losing his temper and scolding or slapping me openly in public, my husband’s facial expression was enough to make me shiver and nervously clench my buttocks. Sternly he told me that my attitude was unacceptable so I should go and sit and wait for him in the car. When we got home we would have a serious talk about my behavior.

I was both ashamed and frightened, so I hastily obeyed. Since childhood it has been my habit when feeling the need to emphasize humble obedience, to reflexively give a quick curtsey before hastily and with head bowed, going to the car.

My husband had a few errands to run in the mall, so I had to wait half an hour or so before he returned. That is a long time to sit alone and reflect on the disadvantages of being naughty and speaking in haste without thinking first. I knew that my husband was going to punish me. I could not disagree that my naughty behavior warranted punishment and that I needed a severe spanking. I was ashamed, frightened and nervous.

The atmosphere during the drive home was unpleasant, and though we did not speak at all, There was no doubt that my husband was displeased with me and intended to teach me a lesson I would not soon forget.

We arrived home, brought our purchases in and, as soon as we had put them on the table, my husband demanded an explanation for my “intolerably bad behavior”. I hate this kind of conversation. I was aware of having behaved intolerably but still, it does not make explanations easier when my behavior before I even begin to explain is labelled “intolerably bad”. Questions like; “Do you not know that you are supposed to speak to people in a polite and considerate way?” and “Why do you not do so?” make me feel worse. I know the final question will be; “When you admit being naughty, impertinent and disobedient you can perhaps tell me what you now deserve?” Of course, I know the answer to the question and typically I have known it from the start but it is frightening and embarrassing to answer.

I have been in this unpleasant situation and had this embarrassing conversation many times and it is stressful. To someone witnessing the situation would seem that I stood in front of my husband like a naughty little school girl but this is not how it feels to me. I never feel like a little girl but am well aware of the fact that I am an adult who still has a lot to learn about how to behave. I am a grown woman who should know better than being as naughty as I have been. No matter what I have done wrong I am always very ashamed when my husband has to correct and rebuke me. It makes me feel guilty and deserving of punishment.

The embarrassing questions and reprimands are lengthy, it causes great emotional distress and makes me cry more out of shame than fear of the upcoming punishment.

This time, the questioning, lecturing and reprimanding did not go on for long. But being sent in disgrace to the car and waiting there had also provided healthy reflection resulting in guilty feelings and shame. It was almost a relief when I was told to go and fetch the strap from its hook on the inside of the broom cupboard door. Having my naughtiness and failure to behave described and elaborated on in embarrassing detail affects me a lot emotionally and I always experience it as a deeply unpleasant part of my punishment. It is so emotionally troubling and makes me shamefully aware of being a naughty and wayward woman. It also causes me to experience a need for the actual punishment. The fact that I deserve to be punished soundly and thoroughly is made clear to me and I need it not just as correction and behavior adjustment but also as atonement that can relieve me of guilt. I am already at this point, genuinely contrite. There must be a severe and tangible deliverance of punishment to ensure improved behavior.

I brought the strap from the cupboard, gave a humble curtsey when I handed it to my husband and then I obediently stood behind the chair. I lifted up my skirt so that he could pull down my knickers before I assumed the position bending over the chair back and clinging with my hands to the seat.

I did not know how many whacks I would get. He always continues to spank me until he decides that I have gotten what I deserve. Except for the number of whacks to anticipate I knew exactly what would happen. I dreaded it, and with good reason. He would not dream of warming up my bottom with some slaps with his hand or light lashes with the strap. It is punishment and every whack is meant to inflict considerable pain. He wields the strap forcefully from start to finish. He spanks steadily and systematically without ever letting my tears or desperate twisting and kicking affect him.

If I struggle and wrench too hysterically he puts his hand on my neck and holds me down. But the strap continues to work on my bare bottom, regardless. The first whack has a shocking effect on me and it is the first of what seems to be a never-ceasing rain of forceful whacks that causes fierce pain and burns deep into my flesh. Quickly the pain is building up to what seems unbearable and drives me to desperation. I cry and twist and kick uninhibited without caring how childishly and undignified I act. All the time I naively think that it cannot get any worse but this does not prevent him from bringing the strap down continuously increasing the painful blaze on my bottom.

The strap hits all over my bottom, but mostly it focuses on the fleshy lower half of my buttocks and on my upper thighs. That area always gets thoroughly thrashed so it is burning intensively long after the spanking ends. It is also sore and throbbing for days after. I thought that the punishment would never end and at times during the spanking I acted hysterically. Eventually it was over and the strap finally stopped dancing on my bare bottom.

I still cried, and my bottom was glowing red and ached and throbbed, but at least it didn’t get worse. I was permitted to pick my knickers from the floor, I had kicked them off during the spanking, and then go to the bathroom and freshen up. It took me some time to compose and stop crying, and the burning pain on my bottom abated only slowly. I was very aware that I had been thoroughly punished for my misbehavior and the soreness and pain would last for some time to come.

Emotionally I was now much better off than before. During the spanking, the dreadful pain was so overwhelming that it alone occupied my mind but afterwards, the emotional impact of the spanking became dominant and though I naturally was not jubilant, I was far from despondent and in low spirits. My glowing red, aching and throbbing bottom caused me great discomfort and would for some time continue. I had been burdened by shame and guilt because I was naughty and now I had been thoroughly punished as I deserved. The fierce pain on my bottom made me very aware of having been punished but the dreadful pain I had endured and was still suffering the aftermath of also made me aware that I had got the punishment I deserved and needed. I had atoned for my misbehavior and now was given a fresh start.

This was emotionally satisfying. The pain was still intense and caused me to whimper. The spanking though highly unpleasant, was not only the natural and righteous consequence of my naughtiness but also as a positive influence on me. It had cleared me of guilt and it had humbled me and made me a better woman who would not soon forget my manners and the respect I owe not only my husband but also other people. I was not proud of having misbehaved so that I deserved to be spanked. I wished that I could have avoided the punishment altogether. But I fully acknowledged that the spanking had been deserved and needed and would have a very positive effect on me and my attitude and behavior.

My husband takes his husbandly duties seriously and also as a disciplinarian always makes sure to do the job properly. A little spanking or a light spanking is not practiced in our home. Spankings are always severe, and if needed they are very severe. The embarrassing stern questioning and lecturing before the spanking is also part of the important aftermath. My husband always spanks me again at least for a couple of days. My bottom is so sore that there is no risk of me forgetting having been naughty and getting punished as I deserved.

Although it at the moment would be a relief if my husband only spanked me leniently I no doubt soon would feel strangely dissatisfied and unfulfilled. Furthermore, it would make me feel insecure if my husband was permissive and lenient so I no longer could rely on him to be the immovable authority that keeps me in line and ensures order, stability and harmony within safe boundaries.

Exactly how this insecurity and such negative emotions would make me behave I cannot say and I hope that I will never find out. I am sure that the bad influence on my attitude as well as my mood would soon be obvious.

It is a fact that being kept in line, being held accountable for my misbehavior and consistently being spanked severely when I deserve punishment all is a very positive influence on me.

Acknowledging the positive effects of getting my bare bottom spanked soundly and thoroughly when I misbehave also means that the aftermath does not cause bad emotions bad mood. It is true that it is not exactly pleasant when my bottom is sore and aching after a spanking and I at least for a couple of days have to give up riding my horse, give up riding my bicycle, be careful when I sit down and must expect the smoldering pain to blaze up if I move without caution but this is only a physical and not an emotional discomfort. My thoughts and emotions during these times naturally reflect that my sore bottom constantly reminds me of having got a well-deserved spanking for being naughty. Then it comes naturally that my thoughts are focused on my misbehavior and the punishment. I reflect on how why and I misbehaved, how foolishly childish I behaved, how my bad behavior made it necessary for my husband to discipline me, how ashamed I was, etc. But what all these and many other thoughts are coming to is this: The satisfied knowledge of having been punished as I deserved, increased respect for and faith in my husband, gratefulness that I am well looked after and kept accountable for my misbehavior and finally a deeply satisfying feeling of content, security, harmony and order. The days when my sore bottom keeps reminding me of my misbehavior and its painful consequences give me a chance to both intellectually and emotionally consider every aspect of the punishment and why I deserved it and what I should learn from the painful experience. It helps me to fully comprehend how much I deserved the spanking and how beneficial it is for me that my husband does not hesitate to give me a sound and thorough bare bottom thrashing when I misbehave and fail to behave so he can be pleased with me.

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